I received all kinds of awesome things for Christmas. First off, my British pen-pal Helen sent me all kinds of British goodies in a huge package. Luckily, it got here before I left for my parents’ house. I’m not even sure what most of this stuff is, but I’m excited to try it. I also sent her a package filled with American/Oregon goodness, so we had our own little sociological celebration.
The best part of the whole thing was that both of us thought that what we received far outweighed what we sent. I figured that this was because we each sent things that are commonplace for each of us, but they are unique to the other person, since we are in different countries. I mean, I sent Helen Kool-Aid and Tootsie Rolls, for Christ’s Sake, and she was enthralled.
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Santa was a little prankster this year. This is some of what I found in my stocking:
- A spiderweb stick, which has been whittled down and inscribed with the words “I’M GONNA GET YOU SUCKA!” It has a duct tape wrapped handle (not pictured) and is about 6 feet long.
- A hair pick, that is actually mine from 20 years ago. My mom and I got perms back then, and she got a pick set for us. I got the little one, since I was little. At Thanksgiving, I saw the big one and referenced the little one to my mom, which Santa somehow found.
- Two mini bananas. Not plantains.
-A box of fucking raisins.
-Weird Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jelly M&M’s.
- One cent stamps, which are supposed to go on the remaining set of envelopes I received from Santa last year. The envelopes are for me to send a check to my dad for my car payment. Good luck with that, Dad.
SANTA ALSO GAVE ME “THE PINK BLANKIE” FOR CHRISTMAS. “The Pink Blankie” is a blanket that has been in my family for longer than I’ve been alive. It was my dad’s before he married my mom, and it’s the most soft and loved blanket ever. This was the blanket we always used when we were sick as children. We haven’t been able to find it for years, and I was convinced that my parents buried it with our dog. And I bitched up a storm about it.
So Santa found it in a closet somewhere and gave it TO ME. And my brother was pissed the hell off.
My legs covered with the holey pink blankie. Oh and I got a super fancy computer from my parents too. Windows 7, FTW!
Is that a jar of Bovril??? lol!